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<title>Like I Used Too by FlightoftheFantasies</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26011258">Like I Used Too</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlightoftheFantasies/pseuds/FlightoftheFantasies'>FlightoftheFantasies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hint of Angst, Love Letters, Post-Prison</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:55:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>802</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26011258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlightoftheFantasies/pseuds/FlightoftheFantasies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You come home to an empty house with a note that Spencer has left for you, but its not the kind of letter you are expecting</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Like I Used Too</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Spencer! Babe you here?!” I call out, closing the front door.</p>
<p>The house is silent, nothing to indicate that Spencer is home yet, not that I’m really surprised. I shrug, not at all surprised that he isn’t home, after nearly 5 years together I’ve gotten used to his hectic work schedule between the BAU and teaching. </p>
<p>I move around the house, putting my things from the day away and the bedroom to change out of my work clothes into something more comfortable before getting supper started. Being distracted with tunnel vision of wanting out of the damn bra, I miss the folded piece of paper lying on the bed. It’s only when I walk out of the ensuite bathroom do I see it. </p>
<p>Scribbled on the front is Spencer’s horrible chicken scratch that I can’t help but laugh. I know the man can write nice and neatly when he wants to, but when he is in a hurry or his mind is moving faster than his hand, this is the outcome. </p>
<p>
  <i>'My darling Y/N,</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I could tell you how many drafts of this letter I’ve written before getting to this one. All the words in all the languages I know, none of them come close to describing how I feel about you. So much has changed in the last 5 years between us, and neither of us are the same person we were when we first started dating. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>You were there when I went to prison, multiple life threatening situations I’ve been in, many ups and downs when it comes to my job as a profiler, accepting me as I took on teaching, and even laughing your ass off when I told you I had college girls hitting on me. Just like you have been there for me, I’ve tried my damnedest to be there for you and I know that I haven’t always succeeded in that but I’m trying to be better. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But everything we have been through together or alone has changed us and we still stand by the other. And after these five years together, not only have we changed but my feelings for you have changed as well. And I guess that is bound to happen after 5, 10, 15 or however many years together. People change and feeling change And well, I’m kind of rambling aren’t I? Even in a letter I still manage to ramble…’</i>
</p>
<p>A laugh mixed with a sob bubbles up; I want to laugh because of his rambling but also I want to cry reading that he doesn’t feel the same anymore. Do I stop reading there or continue and suffer through more rambling before getting to the part he breaks up with me? No, I’m gonna get through this even if it hurts, because I can’t just leave it on a cliffhanger. </p>
<p>
  <i>‘My point, I’ve been writing and rewriting what I want to say to you, explain how I feel, and every time I try the words just don’t come out right. 47, that’s the number of letters I’ve tried writing. And that after writing 67 speeches of how I would tell you to your face and still it just didn’t sound right. Words have never failed me, but to tell you how I feel my mind goes blank and I forget all words, all languages, all facts and statistics. Because nothing seems to fit or be the right thing to say. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And then, one day on a case, the ME was playing this song while working on the autopsy and even though it wasn’t close to Mozart or Beethoven, I realized the guy who was singing was able to put into words what I was feeling. So while they might not be my words to you, they fit perfectly…</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It's a different kind of feeling<br/>
Not the one I knew<br/>
From the sweet on your lips<br/>
To how your hand in mine fits<br/>
Girl, I have always loved you<br/>
But I don't love you like I used to<br/>
This gets better every time you kiss me like this<br/>
It's stronger the longer I'm with you, yeah<br/>
More than every single day before<br/>
Didn't know I could ever love you more than I did<br/>
But baby I do, I don't love you like I used to,<br/>
Look up Baby.’</i>
</p>
<p>I look up from the letter to see Spencer standing there with a small smile on his face and slowly he sinks down kneel in front of me</p>
<p>“5 years and I never knew I could ever love you more than I did when I first told you, but I do. I’ll continue to love you more and more every day we are together. The more we change and our relationship grows, so will my love for you. Will you marry me?”</p>
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